What Am I Doing?

If I had a Ringgit for every time I'd asked myself that question today - What Am I Doing? - Well, I'd still not be very rich, because 1 Ringgit is only about 20p, but I'd have more money than I did at the start of the day anyway. I reckon I've spent roughly one minute of every 10 wondering what on earth possessed me to push myself so far out of my comfort zone, and whether I could just go to India right now and forget the next four weeks of vague travel plans.

But one minute out of every 10 means there's 9 minutes of a different kind of wonder. The kind where I stare in awe at the skyscrapers and almost bump into someone. The kind where I realise how much I've missed being hot (there is a limit though Asia!). The kind where I am amazed that my brain has remembered how to, and is still not phased by crossing roads full of motorbikes, buses, cars, that just do whatever they like. Or where I realise that I made my way from the airport to the hostel looking at a map once, and just vaguely aiming in that direction. 9 minutes of knowing that I'll be ok in the end.

That one out of 10 has meant that I bailed on my plan to "only eat local food" and I'm in Starbucks. I did justify this by ordering a croissant which is something I would never normally order - it might not be Asian, but it's still not my regular - that's something right?! I'm going out for dinner with Gwen, my Malaysian friend, tonight, and hanging out with Sophie, who's been living over here for a month or so now tomorrow and Saturday, so I'll be braver when I'm with them, and hopefully that will set me up for the rest of the trip!

I'm sure today isn't the last time I ask myself that question, but I'm also sure I'll ask it less as the month goes on. Perhaps after 30 days, I'll be down to just once a day?!